Blog Is Of The Essence

Today on "The View," Bitch Brawl!

2007-05-23T17:14:00.001-04:00

They've fought before, but not like this.

Rosie and Elizabeth went at it about George Bush and then turned on eachother and got uncomfortably personal!

Even if they were "friends," there's no doubt...this shit has hit the fan!!

We're gonna miss this!

American Idol Disaster

2007-05-17T13:26:00.000-04:00

Our favorite American Idol contestant, Melinda Doolittle, was wrongfully sent home on last night's show.

How did this happen? We can't believe it!

Neither could Simon Cowell, who covered his face with his hands before saying, "My commiserations, Melinda, 'cause you are one heck of a singer."

She delivered flawless, knockout performances week after week, and it was clear from the beginning she was the best singer in the competition. Jordan and Blake are amateurs in comparison.

Once again, America got it wrong.

Leaving Grey's And Engaged!

2007-05-16T12:28:00.000-04:00

ABC announced yesterday that the Grey's Anatomy spinoff, Private Practice (also known as "Potentially Disastrous Mistake"), will lead the network's new fall schedule.

Why are they screwing with Grey's Anatomy? If it ain't broke, don't fix it! Having show creator and head writer Shonda Rhimes focus on getting a new show off it's feet isn't what the hit series needs right now.

On top of that, the spinoff's star, Kate Walsh, has found a McDreamy of her own. The star just announced to US Weekly yesterday that she's engaged.

What perfect (publicity) timing!

No, but seriously, we all new it was coming because she and her beau have been dating for...wait...what is it?....oh yeah....LESS THAN A MONTH!

Good luck Kate...in both endeavors.

Baby Bubba Gets A Gun Permit

2007-05-16T11:17:00.000-04:00

Bubba Ludwig...that's right...HIS NAME IS BUBBA, a ten month old baby has been issued an official gun permit from the State of Illinois. The application was filled out by his father, Howard Ludwig, who was surprised the permit was actually approved. Ludwig, 30, applied for the ID after Bubba received a 12-gauge Beretta shotgun as a gift from his grandfather.

Bubba can't walk, talk, or go to the bathroom by himself, but he already has a shotgun and a state issued permit. Perfect for show and tell at pre-school.

Two days after the tragedy at Virginia Tech, NY Senator Chuck Schumer said it was "too early to talk about gun control."

When they're handing out permits to infants, we're afraid it's too late.

Tony Nominations!

2007-05-15T16:13:00.000-04:00

Spring Awakening garnered 11 nominations, the most of any show of the season, which it fully deserves. It's wonderful. Go see it!

Grey Gardens wasn't far behind, with 10 nominations. Also wonderful. Go see it!

Click here for the full list of nominees

Farewell Falwell

2007-05-15T16:12:00.000-04:00

Rev. Jerry Falwell, the television evangelist and face of the religious right died this morning.

At least he passed knowing he used his life to do so much good. You know...like...campaigning against abortion, homosexuality, bans on school prayer, and of course Tinky Winky.

He even can be credited for uncovering the real reason behind the Sept. 11 attacks; feminists, gays, lesbians and liberal groups.

Falwell said in 1987, "I shudder to think where the country would be right now if the religious right had not evolved." Unfortunately, we shudder to think where the country IS right now BECAUSE the religious right has evolved.

Smack That!

2007-05-09T15:52:00.000-04:00

Akon shouldn’t take his lyrics so literally.

During a show in Trinidad, the singer simulated STATUTORY RAPE with a 15 year-old fan, who shouldn't have been allowed in the club in the first place. For approximately 47 seconds the singer was twisting, turning, and flipping Danah Alleyne, daughter of a Trinidad pastor, all over the stage. Alleyne (pictured above with her father), who now, "regrets attending the concert," told the Trinidad Express, "I got carried away, I started to dance as well, but I never thought it was going to be like that. I was shocked. My head was hitting the floor."

The Prime Minister of Trinidad has called for a formal investigation.

How is Hip Hop still getting away with such degrading and disgusting acts towards women, and old white men like Don Imus are the ones getting blamed? What's with the double standard!

Akon is the opening act on Gwen Stefani’s Sweet Escape tour and now major sponsors like Verizon are dropping out.

Keep it in your pants Akon, or else you’ll end up Mr. Lonely.

Click here to watch video. Warning: Contains sexually explicit, graphic, disturbing material

Bush Quote Of The Week

2007-05-08T17:10:00.000-04:00

Click Here

Tommy "Bigot" Thompson - Presidential Candidate

2007-05-08T16:41:00.000-04:00

At the GOP presidential debate last week, moderator John Harris asked former Wisconsin Governor Tommy Thompson (he left office when he was appointed by President Bush as Secretary of Health and Human Sevices) a pretty black and white question: "Gov. Thompson...If a private employer finds homosexuality immoral, should he be allowed to fire a gay worker?"

Thompson's answer was equally straightforward: "I think that is left up to the individual business. I really sincerely believe that that is an issue that business people have got to make their own determination as to whether or not they should be."

"Ok, so the answer's yes?" Thompson: "Yes."

Ed Morrissey wrote in the National Review, "Thompson's answer merely confirms his status as one of the GOP's 'Crazy Uncle Bobs' who ought to 'return to the attic forthwith.'"

The next morning, in a telephone interview with CNN, the governor claimed he "misinterpreted" the question. Oh, right...cause it was so confusing.

Thompson should familiarize himself with Federal Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) Laws.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin.

Gov. Thompson should have no problem providing a straight answer…clearly, it’s the gay ones he has an issue with.

Although.....

What A Drag!

2007-05-08T16:37:00.000-04:00

Jessica Simpson showed up at the Met Costume Institute Gala dressed as a porn star. A transvestite porn star.

Cate? Courtney Love? Cate? Courtney Love?

2007-05-08T12:58:00.000-04:00

We love us some Cate Blanchett, but not like this. The incredibly classy and stylish Oscar winner showed up at the Met Costume Institute Gala last night and shocked everyone with her new, horribly skinny figure.

Hopefully, it's for a role, but that doesn't excuse the corpse-like hair and make up.

Cate, eat something...quick...before we have to start taking some "Notes On A Scandal."

Arachnophobia

2007-05-08T12:07:00.000-04:00

Okay, this is getting serious, Kirsten.

You have spun you web of fashion faux pas for far too long. Your cowboy boyfriend has taken the evidence and lassoed it around your head.

Saddle up for an extreme fashion intervention, Dunst!

The Devil Wears…Chanel?

2007-05-08T12:06:00.000-04:00

The stars turned out and dressed to impress last night at the Annual Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Vogue dictatrice, Anna Wintour, lived up to her reptilian reputation.

Stand back everyone. She bites!

Bus Driver-Move That Bus!...Cause I'm Drunk

2007-05-08T11:56:00.000-04:00

Ty Pennington, host of ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," was arrested for investigation of drunken driving.

He released a statement yesterday, saying, "I made an error in judgment. We all make mistakes, however this is about accountability. Under no circumstances should anyone consume alcohol while driving. I could have jeopardized the lives of others and I am grateful there was no accident or harm done to anyone.This was my wake-up call. also want to apologize to my fans, ABC Television and my design team for my lapse in judgment and the embarrassment I have caused."

No wonder he's so loud and over the top on Extreme Makeover. He's just drunk.

Hermoine Grandeur!

2007-05-07T18:15:00.000-04:00

Potter fans were surprised at how much Hermoine Granger had grown since her last year at Hogwarts! In an IMAX press photo for the new film, actress Emma Wartson’s twins seemed to have been enhanced in comparison to other photos for the film. Warner Bros quickly pulled the posters claiming they were unofficial photographs released by Imax.

It seems Harry got a little too trigger happy with his wand.
(For all you Potter Fans that spell would be “Densaugeo!”)

Read the article

The Itsy Bitzy Spider…

2007-05-07T17:47:00.000-04:00

Next time you have an earache beware. A 9 year old boy in Oregon found two spiders nesting on his eardrum! No worries, he went to the doctor who “washed the spiders out.”

The boy said he kept hearing a sound “like Rice Krispies.”

Well, snap, crackle, pop! That’s disgusting!

Read more

What's In A Name?

2007-05-07T17:41:00.000-04:00

The energy drink ,Cocaine, has been pulled from store shelves after the FDA claimed the company was trying to market the product as an alternative to the illegal drug of the same name.

Clegg Ivey, a partner at the company that makes the drink argued, “Of course, we intended for Cocaine energy drink to be a legal alternative the same way that celibacy is an alternative to premarital sex. It’s not the same thing and no one thinks it is. Our product doesn’t have any cocaine in it. No one thinks that it does. We think it is most likely legal in the United States to ship our product.”

Love the logic Clegg! Let’s call a spade a spade.

Read more

Victoria’s Losing Her Secret

2007-05-07T12:24:00.001-04:00

With her Victoria’s Secret contract soon to expire, Gisele is reportedly planning to bring sexy lingerie to the masses at a much more affordable price. Page Six insiders say she is close to closing a lucrative deal with International clothing giant H&M.

H&M has a history of partnering with big name designers and celebrities to provide stylish threads at a low price point; Lagerfeld, Victor & Rolf, and most recently Madonna. We’re not sure of Gisele is qualified to design bras, but she’ll certainly have no problem filling ‘em.

The Hoff...Wasted

2007-05-04T18:50:00.000-04:00

This is so disturbing! He's used to baring it all, but here's a side we haven't seen!

Watch this drunken video of David Hasselhoff as his daughter begs him to stop drinking.

When she asks why he does this to himself, he slurs back, "Cause I'm lonely. I have trouble in my life."

Next thing you know, he'll be shaving his head and off to Promises.

Click here to watch the video

Make It Work Kelly!

2007-05-04T16:50:00.000-04:00

We don't like what we're hearing! Kelly Clarkson's new album might be a bust.

Sony BMG's Chief, Clive Davis has reportedly scrapped the album after hearing some of her new tracks, according to British newspaper, the Daily Star. "Clive was absolutely merciless in his criticism of Kelly. She's one of the biggest priorities on the label and her new songs were savaged," a source told the paper. Clarkson has openly discussed her label's dislike of her new album.

We're so disappointed with her new "Since U Been Gone" wannabe single, "Never Again," which debuted at #8 in the singles charts, according to the latest Billboard 100.

If the album's bad, we hope Clive whips her into shape!

No use releasing an album that sucks. Take the time to get it right and come back and blow us all away!

Bush Quote Of The Week

2007-05-04T15:02:00.000-04:00

"The question is, who ought to make that decision [about troops]? The Congress or the commanders? And as you know, my position is clear -- I'm the commander guy."

Is it 2008 yet? Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly...far far away!

Too "Irreverent?"...It's In The Contract

2007-05-03T11:52:00.000-04:00

Don Imus is claiming he gave CBS exactly what they wanted.

He's hired one of the country's top trial lawyers, Martin Garbus, and is planning to file a wrongful breach of contract suit against CBS.

His contract included a clause that CBS wanted him to be "irreverent" and "controversial." The contract stated that those qualities are "desired by Company" and "consistent with Company rules and policies."

The question is...Did Imus breach his contract by calling the Rutgers players "nappy-headed hos?"

CBS may have asked for controversial and irreverent, but it doesn't appear they asked for RACIST.

She's Hopeless!

2007-05-03T10:56:00.000-04:00

She's out of rehab and back to lip-synching, but she's still a HOT MESS!!!

Britney's "Comeback" Performance

2007-05-02T12:11:00.001-04:00

Despite rumors of cancellation, Britney showed up at The House of Blues last night in Sand Diego for her first performance in three years.

The short, fifteen minute concert included "Baby One More Time," "I'm A Slave 4 U, "Breathe On Me," "Do Something," and "Toxic."

What? Now that you're out of rehab we don't get any "Crazy?"

Becks Goes Blonde

2007-04-27T09:43:00.000-04:00

David Beckham has a new 'do.

And it's AWFUL!

Apparently it's for a photoshoot, but please David, do something about this. It's not posh!

Arrested!...For Baked Beans

2007-04-26T13:32:00.000-04:00

Hugh Grant has been arrested after attacking a photographer with baked beans on Tuesday morning.

According to US Magazine, Grant "hurled a tub of baked beans at celebrity snapper Ian Whittaker after allegedly kicking him three times in the shins and kneeing him near the groin.Whittaker, 43, was left bruised, battered and covered in baked beans following the incident.”

Of course he's been arrested. After the gas that paparazzo had! I'd be pissed too. Plus, everyone knows you can't just have baked beans. What about hot dogs, cole slaw and maybe some corn on the cob? Come on Hugh, don't be stingy.

Photo: usmagazine.com

Sarah Silverman To Host MTV Movie Awards

2007-04-26T11:01:00.001-04:00

Sarah Silverman is hilarious. We love her!

MTV made a smart move getting her to host. The show airs live on June 3rd.

Alec Baldwin: Acting Has Lost It's Importance

2007-04-26T10:06:00.000-04:00

Alec Baldwin will appear on "The View" tomorrow (taped yesterday) to discuss the "rude, thoughtless little pig" voicemail he left his daughter, and his his need to take a break from acting.

Of his berating voicemail, he told the ladies at "The View," "I took it out on the wrong person because I'm unable, under the current dynamic, to address the other person." "You didn't mean to say it to your child...you meant it for your ex-wife?" Barbara Walters asked. Baldwin replied, "Well, I think that goes without being said." He declined to answer when asked if he'd spoken to his daughter since he left the insulting message.

He went on to say, "If I never acted again I couldn't care less," and asked NBC to let him out of his 30 Rock contract to focus on the issue of "parental alienation." "I've had enough of this quite frankly to last me a lifetime, especially in the modern tabloid world and ... there's a bigger thing I want to do, there's a more important thing I want to do," Baldwin said. "Acting Has Lost It's Importance."

Baldwin is one of our favorite actors and works non stop, but it seems he's pretty serious about taking a break. Within the last few days, he just fired his long time agents Matt DelPiano and Michael Rosenfeld at Creative Artists Agency.

There's always something with these Baldwin brothers! Needless to say, we're looking forward to tomorrow's View.

Stop Horsin’ Around

2007-04-26T09:36:00.000-04:00

After getting wasted with some friends, a 40-year old man in Berlin was so drunk he decided to pass out in the warmth of a local ATM. Only problem was there was no where to tie up his horse outside the bank, so he brought his equestrial companion inside with him.

Brings a whole new meaning to Farfromsober!

Rosie Says Goodbye

2007-04-25T13:56:00.001-04:00

Watch her annoucement on this morning's show.

Rosie's View?...I'm Out!

2007-04-25T13:44:00.000-04:00

Rosie announced on today's show that she's leaving "The View."

After she made the announcement, she released this statement:

"This has been an amazing experience, and one I wouldn't have traded for the world. Working with Barbara, Joy and Elisabeth has been one of the highlights of my career, but my needs for the future just didn't dovetail with what ABC was able to offer me. To all the viewers out there, I just want to say 'thank you' for opening up your hearts and your homes to me this past year. But you can always find me at rosie.com. Here's hoping there's more confetti for all of us going forward."

Although this season's ratings were the highest ever, Rosie's short stint on "The View" caused constant controversy. Her statement makes it sound like a money issue, but let's face it, she and Barbara never saw eye to eye.

Rosie's heated cross-fire with Elizabeth and celebrity feuds made for great TV. Maybe it's not right for "The View," but it would be right for her own show!!

Just say the word Ro, and our DVR is set.

Heidi Unveils New “Hills”

2007-04-25T09:42:00.000-04:00

US Magazine has just released these new and improved pics of Heidi Montag and her gigantic new boobs. Heidi has not yet confirmed the surgery. ARE YOU KIDDING?! This is all the confirmation we need. They're as big as her head!

If This Is "The Real OC"...

2007-04-23T13:19:00.000-04:00

Then we never want to go there!!!!

This is horrifying!

According to US Magazine, these pictures of former Laguna Beach loser Jason Wahler and his friend, rapper Jay 211 (who no one's ever heard of!) were taken last summer.

"We were just wasted one night and we ended up back at Jay's house in North Hollywood. Everyone was just playing around and they decided to play Russian Roulette. There was one bullet in the gun and Jason and Jay both pointed the gun at their heads and pulled the trigger," a source said.

Wahler has been arrested 4 times in the last nine months, and must turn himself in by May 4th to serve 60 days in jail for assaulting a city worker.

Jason, if you like games like Russian Roulette, then you'll love prison. They play fun games there too, like, "Beat My Ass In The Exercise Yard" or the old favorite, "Rape Me In The Shower."

My Father, Who Art An ASS!

2007-04-19T17:39:00.000-04:00

Alec Baldwin lost his cool and left a threatening message for his 11 year old daughter, Ireland. He yelled on the machine calling her "a thoughtless pig" and threatened to "straighten your ass out."

According to TMZ, "Los Angeles County Superior Court commissioner Maren Nelson heard the tape and temporarily suspended Baldwin's visitation rights. A hearing is set for May 4, where the judge could permanently deny Baldwin visitation or contact with Ireland."

The actor has a long history of anger management problems. Last year, actress Jan Maxwell quit the Off-Broadway play "Entertaining Mr. Sloane," charging that the volatile behavior of Baldwin, the show's star -"created an unhealthy and oppressive situation" on stage and off.

Now we know why she doesn't pick up the phone. Daddy scares you, doesn't he Ireland? You're not the only one!

Click here to listen to the loving father threaten his 11 year old daughter

Trump Sends Barbara Rosie's Panties

2007-04-19T11:50:00.000-04:00

Donald Trump isn't done with Rosie yet. He sent a "gigantic black undergarment" that she wore in the movie "East of Eden" to Barbara Walters on Monday.

A fan bought the "giant pair of panties" at an auction, had it framed, and delivered it to Trump.

Trump told the New York Post, "I sent it to Barbara to hang in her office because I didn't want it in mine. It was funny, except that it was really gross. It's disgusting. I feel sorry for [Rosie's] wife, Kelly. It can't be pleasant."

He feels sorry for Kelly. We feel sorry for Melania.

Rosie, just let him make a fool of himself. There's no need to get your panties in a wad over this...especially when they're in such a nice frame.

Mills Finally Spills

2007-04-17T12:08:00.001-04:00

Last night, on "Dancing With The Stars," the inevitable happened...Heather Mills finally lost her footing...well...that actually happened several years ago after she was hit by a motorcycle.

She might still have a leg up though. The judges gave her high marks.

You gotta stay on your toes Heather to take home the win...literally.

Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones!

2007-04-13T15:39:00.000-04:00

After circling through the rumor mill, Shia LaBeouf is confirmed for the cast for the upcoming fourth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise.

Shia is blowing up right now! He received critical raves in last year’s, A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints, he’s in the big budget live-action Transformers movie this summer, and his new thriller, Disturbia, opens this weekend.

Not bad for the kid from Nickelodeon’s Even Stevens.

Sea Mammals v. Osama

2007-04-13T14:42:00.000-04:00

Did you know that dolphins and sea lions are a part of the military budget? Since the 1950s, flipper and his friends have been one of our first lines of defense. They can be trained to locate mines on the ocean floor, clearing a safe path for naval vessels.

The program is currently in the news because of a new initiative to bring the sea mammals to the waters off of Washington State around the Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor. Animal rights activists say the waters are too cold for the animals.

Read CNN Article

Dannielynn BIRKHEAD!!

2007-04-10T16:47:00.000-04:00

And the baby goes to...

Larry Birkhead

Really?! We didn't see this coming at all!

The Bahamas Supreme Court just announced the DNA tests prove Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's 7-month-old daughter, Dannielynn.

"I hate to be the one who told you this, but, I told you so," Birkhead said.

Birkhead has spent the last seven months battling for custody over "the baby" -a.k.a. the millions Dannielynn stands to inherit from Smiths late husband, J. Howard Marshall.

“The Hills” Are Alive With The Sound Of Bad Music

2007-04-09T14:38:00.000-04:00

Is LC “Love Stoned” for the Justin Timberlake wanna be?

“The Hills” and rumored sex tape star (with ex-boyfriend, Jason Wahler…who was arrested over the weekend for the fourth time in nine months.), Lauren Conrad was spotted having a very flirty rendezvous with American Idol contestant, Chris Richardson before the two were ushered into Les Deux night club on Friday night.

We don’t blame him for trying to capitalize on his fame now. Once the nasal crooner is voted off of Idol, he doesn’t have a prayer. There’s only room for one Justin Timberlake.

Click here to watch the video

Photo: tmz.com

Dooin’ It All The Way!

2007-04-07T11:40:00.000-04:00

Doolittle is the official favorite!

We love her, Idol fans love her, and so does the prediction market Intrade.com, which allows people to wager real money on future events, such as the Academy Awards or presidential elections.

“Intrade says pretty conclusively that Doolittle is going to win, although Lakisha Jones, Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks are still in the picture,” says Intrade CEO John Delaney. “The predictions are not infallible, but they are historically more accurate than opinion polls,” he said.

So there’s no more need to concern ourselves with Sanjaya. Let his tasteless fans vote for him all they want, because in the end, Doolittle’s got it in the bag!

Read the article

Photo: americanidol.com

Bill O'Reilly Loses His Shit!

2007-04-06T15:44:00.001-04:00

Bill O'Reilly unleashed his crazy on Geraldo Rivera and went ballistic on "The O'Reilly Factor" last night.

Tempers flared when O'Reilly brought up the recent story of two Virginia Beach teens killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. The driver was an illegal immigrant.

Let's just say that O'Reilly and Rivera don't share the same view on illegal immigration. Watch it! He's CRAZY!

I Swear Officer, I Didn't Do It

2007-04-05T15:40:00.000-04:00

There's no gettin' out of this one. Michael Edward Thompson, of North Carolina, was arrested earlier this week and charged with inhaling toxic vapors. Thompson was in possession of a can of spray paint (who knew) and a plastic bag.

Silver gets the job done, but we heard gold is the good shit!

At least that's what this guy told us.

Photo: thesmokinggun.com

"Ryan Seacrest Live?"

2007-04-05T14:59:00.000-04:00

Doesn't have the same ring to it as "Larry King Live," but King himself said that Seacrest would be his first choice replacement.

"He’s the classic generalist,” King said. “The only thing I don’t know, and I’ve gotten to know him pretty well, is how versed he is in politics, world affairs. Does he read the paper? Is he interested in Iraq? Because if he is, he’s going to be very good.”

King isn't planning on retiring anytime soon. He hopes "Larry King Live" can go on for at least 10 more years, or until he's 83.

We hope it can too Larry. We're tired of Seacrest trying to take over the world.

Click here to read the New York Times article

Photo: imdb

Generous George

2007-04-05T14:26:00.000-04:00

10-year-old Carter, 6-year-old Chandler and 5-year-old Chase Fontaine had a lucky day yesterday. The three kids set up a lemonade stand near the set of George Clooney's new movie, "Leatherheads" in North Carolina. Clooney paid a visit to the stand yesterday afternoon and gave them a $20 bill in exchange for his lemonade. He refused his change.

What a nice guy! That better be some damn good lemonade.

Photo: imdb

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y...Sorry, You Need Not Apply

2007-04-05T12:11:00.000-04:00

This woman was photographed performing her audition routine for the Denver Broncos Cheerleaders.

She's got guts! ....Or she's just crazy.

This was her competition.
I don't know. Who should they cast?....It's a tough call.

Photo: yahoo

Reese And Jake Taking It Slow

2007-04-05T10:16:00.000-04:00

They've been linked for the past few weeks, but now, it sounds like they're getting serious. Jake and Reese have "been spending a lot more time together," says a source."They are taking it slow and getting to know each other."

It's only been five months since her split from husband, Ryan Phillipe, and Gyllenhaal is five years her junior, so we understand the hesitation...but we LOVE everything about this.

Cuttin' Sexy Out

2007-04-05T09:49:00.000-04:00

Justin Timberlake had shots of his "sexy back" cut from "Black Snake Moan."

The singer said, "I'm not going to say it doesn't feel weird pretending to f- someone in front of a man with a sound boom ... in the first cut you could see my ass, but I had a word and that's now out."

"Black Snake" better start moanin', cause there goes it's audience.

Photo: moviefone.com

ANOTHER Baby for Brangelina?

2007-04-04T16:19:00.000-04:00

They waste no time!

Pax is just settling in, and there are already reports that Brad and Angelina have started the process of adopting yet another child: a 1-year-old girl from from the African nation of Chad.

Brad has reportedly said he and Angelina want to have two more kids in 2007, including another biological child.

Will they ever stop? Jolie's brother said, "There is no limit to the children she and Brad are adopting. It could be scores"

Sounds good to us. The bigger this beautiful family, the better!

Photo: usmagazine.com

Heidi Gets Implants For Her "Hills"

2007-04-04T12:03:00.000-04:00

The Hills' Heidi Montag waited until season two of the hit MTV show was over to get a brand new pair of boobs.

It's probably all part of her deadbeat boyfriend, Spencer Prick's plan. He recently told Us Weekly, "We're going to take over the world. Heidi is the biggest star from that show."

When is she going to realize "The Mask" look alike is USING her.

Maybe the "new and improved" Heidi Montag will finally drop him for good!

Sexual Education: Unattended 5th Grades Perform Class Demonstration

2007-04-04T11:58:00.000-04:00

Four 5th graders, two girls and two boys, had sex in front of their class after their teacher left them unattended. A fifth student acted as the lookout as the boys (12 & 13) and the girls (both 11) performed for the rest of the class. Officials found out about the incident the following day, after one of the onlookers told a 12th grader who in turn informed a teacher. The kids are now being brought up on obscenity charges.

Unbelievable! What is happening to our youth?

This outrageous incident occurred in Spearsville, Louisiana. Does anyone else find that ironic?

Britney, clearly there is something in the water of your home state.

Read more in CNN article

Wealthiest Asian Woman Dies...Looked Like Asian Cartoon Character

2007-04-04T11:17:00.000-04:00

Asia’s richest woman, worth around $4 billion, has died reportedly of cancer.
“Little Sweetie,” as Nina Wang was known, had a life that reads like a crazy Lifetime melodrama.

Nina, and her signature pigtails, inherited her money from her late husband, Teddy, who evidently signed a will that she wrote out by hand days before he disappeared. Some say he was kidnapped and thrown over the side of a boat. If true, that would be his second kidnapping. He was first abducted in the early eighties. After Nina paid an $11 million ransom, Teddy’s captors abandoned him on the side of a road in an iron box.

Isn’t that crazy!!!!

Read more

Doo...No Wrong

2007-04-04T09:49:00.001-04:00

If you missed Melinda Doolittle's performance of "I Got Rhythm" on last night's "American Idol," watch it now! She's amazing!

She makes everyone look like amateurs. Including Lakisha. You can no longer compare the two...except for the fact that one has a neck and one doesn't.

My Drug Of Choice...My Dad

2007-04-03T16:17:00.000-04:00

Keith Richards recently revealed that he once snorted the remains of his own father.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared...It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Wow. So disturbing.

We may be wrong, but we don't think snorting your dead parent's remains is one of the 5 stages of grief.

Photo: yahoo.com

Go Go Gadget Jive Leg

2007-04-03T12:47:00.001-04:00

Heather Mills is really milking that leg, or lack there of.

She was fitted with a special "jive" leg for last night's Dancing With The Stars. I guess it paid off, because much to our disappointment, she was pretty good. She did another signature Mills flip, which was unnecessary for the dance, but just in case you didn't know you can flip with an artificial leg, she'll prove it two weeks in a row.

She wants to be a celebrity so badly.

MC Rove vs. PETA

2007-04-03T11:42:00.001-04:00

You've all seen Karl Rove's disturbing rap performance by now.

Before the song started, when asked if he had any hobbies, Rove answered, "ripping the tops off of animals" and demonstrated with his hands. The rap then starts, "Listen up suckas, don't get the jitters, but MC Rove tears the heads off of critters." It's obviously a joke, but who knew Rove was so HILARIOUS. It looks like we got a stand up comedian as the Deputy Chief Of Staff!

PETA president, Ingrid Newkirk wrote a letter to Rove: "We saw your bizarre routine...and our first thought was, 'Don't give up your day job. On second thought , we do wish you'd give up your day job...You have a severe compassion deficit and, sadly, you have the president's ear, and the last thing this country needs is someone whispering something violent into it."

You tell him Newkirk! But, he has more than the president's ear, he's his puppet master. It's too bad his hobby isn't ripping the tops off his puppets!

Brit’s Got The Blues

2007-04-03T11:07:00.000-04:00

Have you noticed that the recently rehabilitated brown-eyed girl is currently seeing the world in a whole new light?

What is with the blue eye contacts Britney? We feel like it makes you look dead inside. Combined with the platinum blonde wig, you look like a freaky Stepford wife.

The good news is producer Sean Garrett, who has been working with you on tracks for you new album, told People the new material "is like 'Toxic' times 10.” With your current substance abuse problems, we wouldn’t expect any less.

Spice Girl Has A Dreamgirl

2007-04-03T09:39:00.000-04:00

Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, gave birth to a baby girl early this morning. Brown has said her ex-boyfriend, Eddie Murphy is the father. But when questioned by a reporter about the pregnancy, Murphy said, "I don't know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn't jump to conclusions, sir."

Eddie, you walked out on your baby and ex-girlfriend just like you walked out on the Oscars...a LOSER. The mother may be "scary," but at least she's not a transvestite prostitute!

Photo: people.com
imdb.com

No Stoppin’ This Show

2007-04-02T12:37:00.000-04:00

Danity Kane plans to release their sophomore album this fall. We are skeptical to say the least. After the exposure they received from MTV’s Making the Band, the group’s first effort debuted at #1. But, who really remembers them now?

We saw them open for the Pussy Cat Dolls, who opened for Christina on the Back to Basics Tour. Let’s just say, they definitely benefit from the sound mixing that goes on in the studio.

“Ooooo, we ain’t tryin’ to be rude” but, the girls better hope that MTV picks them up for another season of Making the Band.

I'm A Real Producer...Bitch

2007-04-02T12:07:00.000-04:00

It's officially on.

The other night at club Marquee, Timbaland announced to a shocked crowd, "Scott Storch is a bitch."

The two producer's used to be friends, but had a falling out and have since been swapping not so subtle insults.

In March, Storch released "Built Like That," in which he accused Timbaland of stealing producing credit on Justin Timberlake's song, "Cry Me A River," on which Storch worked.

Timbaland's new hit song, "Give It To Me," with Timberlake and Nelly Furtado has been rumored to refer to Storch: "I get a half a mil for my beats/You get a couple grand. Never gonna see the day that I ain't got the upper hand. I'm respected from Californ-i-a way down to Japan. I'm a real producer you just a piano man."

Who's our pick? Timbaland. He's at the top of his game, producing massive hits with Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado, and The Pussycat Dolls. His solo album, Timbaland Presents Shock Value drops tomorrow.

Storch doesn't even have a hope on bringing sexy back. Scotty, stick to what you do best, producing lame pop songs with the pathetically untalented Brooke Hogan and Paris Hilton. We hear Paris has begun working on her second album. You better use your visitation time wisely while she's in the slammer. But, a word of advice, when Paris asks for your producer's input, she isn’t requesting a congical visit.

Be-YAWN-cé

2007-04-02T11:42:00.000-04:00

Taking a cue from Usher, Beyoncé is re-releasing her 2006 album B-day as a Deluxe Edition and Video Anthology. The diva added four new tracks to the album and simultaneously released a video for each. Here’s the problem: they all suck!

When is Bootylicious going to learn that it isn’t about quantity, but quality? She doesn’t have the best voice, but she’s got talent. Crazy In Love is a classic! But everything is beginning to sound the same.

Take your own advice, B. In the pop game, “don’t you ever get to thinkin’, you’re irreplaceable!”

Shades of Glory

2007-04-02T11:14:00.000-04:00

We saw the new Will Ferrell movie this weekend, Blades of Glory. After all the amazing reviews, our expectations were high. Unfortunately, the film just didn’t live up to the hype. It had its moments, but it was no Anchorman.

Ferrell and Amy Poehler are hilarious but, is it just us or is Jon Heder really not that funny? The Napoleon Dynamite shtick can only take you so far.

Nevertheless, it really doesn't matter how good the movie is. The film still topped the weekend box office. Will Ferrell is a studio's dream.

Not A Girl, Not Yet A Geriatric Woman

2007-04-02T10:32:00.000-04:00

To show their support, her friends at Promises dedicated a whole week of their arts and crafts time to create an outfit for Spears to wear to her post divorce settlement dinner. Not only does the pin cushion firmly secure her wig, it doubles as a horrifically tacky hat.

Looks like rehab did nothing to help cure Brit of her bad fashion habits.

Semi-Sweet Son of God

2007-03-30T17:14:00.000-04:00

A New York art exhibit featuring a life-sized nude sculpture of Jesus made entirely of chocolate has been closed after strong objections where raised by several religious groups.

What’s all the fuss? We can’t think of a better way to make Christianity more accessible.

We have a lot of issues with organized religion, but a chocolate Jesus…that we can swallow.

Read More

The Simple Life: Jail Bait

2007-03-30T13:29:00.000-04:00

Paris violated her probation last month when she was caught driving with a suspended license. Now, a judge could decide Ms. Hilton deserves jail time.

The heiress certainly has committed enough crimes against humanity to justify a stay in the big house.

Racist ranks, drunken crotch shots, amateur porn, and further corrupting a depressed, lost, and lonely popstar.

Guilty…CLANK!

Read more

Double Vision

2007-03-30T13:13:00.000-04:00

David and Victoria Beckham showed up at the 2007 Sports Industry Awards in London last night with matching do's.

Reminds us of....Gwyn and Brad anyone?

But even better than than their perfect hair is their perfect style. These two always look impeccable.

They're too perfect. They're like pixies. Hot pixies.

New Maroon 5

2007-03-30T13:02:00.001-04:00

They're back and just released the video for their first single, "Makes Me Wonder."

It's no "This Love," but it's definitely growing on us.

There's so much buzz about the new album...it's supposed to be amazing. We loved "Songs About Jane," and it sounds like "Makes Me Wonder" is off to a great start!

Fashion Infection

2007-03-30T12:43:00.000-04:00

Looks like someone has a case of style Jaundice.

Kirsten, you're a HOT MESS . Burn everything you're wearing, ship your shoes back to the 19th century, and hang your stylist with that hideous scarf!

Come on Dunst. Get it together.

Disturbia

2007-03-30T11:55:00.000-04:00

After being encouraged by some 17 year-old skateboarding punk, these two 10 year-old tikes (in white) assaulted a homeless man, beating his head with pieces of concrete.

What is wrong with America?! We see more and more kids at the movies, at the mall, or just walking down the street who have no sense of respect for their fellow man.

Where are the parents? Where are the values and ethics that were instilled in us as children?

We Call Bullshit

2007-03-30T11:25:00.000-04:00

I didn't even want to win! Sure you didn't.

Chris Sligh told his hometown paper, "I never came into this wanting to win it. I made the Top Ten. That was my goal."

Yeah right Chris. And then he went on to say...

I sang badly on purpose, and I don't like being on TV, and I would rather have not been a part of it, and I would never want to win the lottery, in fact, I don't even like money, and I think puppies are ugly.

Chris, there's no need to be a sore loser.

That's a bad color on you...and you're attitude is poor.

Lily Tomlin Didn't "Heart Huckabees"

2007-03-29T17:20:00.001-04:00

Lily Tomlin vs. director David O. Russell.

In case you haven't seen this recently leaked, CRAZY freakout on the set of "I Heart Huckabees," watch it NOW!

In Fact, Lily Tomlin Hated Huckabees!!

2007-03-29T17:17:00.001-04:00

Wait. There's more.

We're terrified of her. Everyone in the car is SO uncomfortable. Dustin Hoffman tries to calm her down, and she even tells him to "Shut the f*** up."

She seems like a joy to work with. A director's dream!

Mills...Showin' Some Leg!

2007-03-29T16:21:00.000-04:00

We get it! You only have one leg! Everyone knows!

It's nice to see you've got some extras lyin' around...just in case.

Size Matters

2007-03-28T14:01:00.000-04:00

The World’s Tallest Man, Bao Xishun, married a woman half his age and half his height.

At. 5’ 6”, Bao Xishun, is eye level with her 7’ 9” husband’s waist.

Let the jokes begin!

Online Dating?...Or Just Porn?

2007-03-28T12:25:00.000-04:00

Have you seen the new True online dating ads? They're basically porn.

Trust us, this isn't who's going to show up on your date. We found the fine print.

Disclaimer: The pictures we use in our advertisements are completely inaccurate representations of our clientele. We apologize if you feel you've been misled in any way. A more accurate representation would be...

So Much Hype...So Lame

2007-03-28T11:47:00.001-04:00

This is what all the talk was about?

If you missed it, check out the kiss between Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston on last night's season finale of "Dirt."

They had made it seem like such a big deal, but what a let down.

Jennifer Aniston still manages to bore us...even with a lesbian kiss.

Sanjaya And His Pony-Hawk Continue To Torment

2007-03-28T10:51:00.000-04:00

He's AWFUL and RIDICULOUS!

Just as Simon said, there's nothing left to say. It's not funny anymore. It's not endearing. It's not courageous.

We're sure most people didn't even notice he forgot the words to No Doubt's "Bathwater," since they were too busy laughing at his hair.

He's a DISASTER.

Click here to watch his traumatizing performance

"Goodbye My Lover"

2007-03-27T13:43:00.000-04:00

Singer James Blunt and model Petra Nemcova have called it quits after almost 2 years.

He's already been rumored to have rebounded with....Lindsay Lohan. Classy.

Petra deserves better.

Best Videos Of 2006

2007-03-27T12:13:00.000-04:00

You Tube has just announced the winners of the first You Tube Video Awards. Among the winners are Ok Go's treadmill-choreographed music video, and the series "Ask a Ninja."

Click here for the complete list and the videos

Dance It Out!

2007-03-27T11:07:00.000-04:00

This little boy was beaten by classmates after they saw the video he made, dancing to Beyonce's "Irreplaceable."

He's amazing, and if we ever ran into the kids that beat him up, we'd give them a peice of our mind.

I'm sure they were just jealous of his AWESOME dance moves. You work it little man! Don't ever let people get you down!

Watch the video. He's adorable.

Dailymotion blogged video

A Note To Concert Goers

2007-03-26T23:29:00.000-04:00

We were at the Christina Aguilera Back to Basics Tour at Madison Square Garden last Friday night.

Not even halfway into the opening number, Ain’t No Other Man, we were asked by an usher to sit down after a woman in the section above us had complained.

Her reasoning: Common courtesy.

If the people directly in front of us (i.e. the lame ass bitch who sat down the entire concert) weren’t standing up, than neither should we.

Our response: Common sense.

This is a concert. Have the courtesy to get over yourself. If you wanna sit down, stay at home and watch the DVD. “If you ain’t dirrty, you ain’t here to party!”

Croc-Blocked

2007-03-26T23:27:00.000-04:00

A woman was stopped trying to cross the border from Egypt into Gaza smuggling three live alligators strapped to her waist. "The woman looked strangely fat. Even though she was veiled and covered, even with so many clothes on there was something strange," one guard said.

We heard crocodile skin was all the rage on the runways in Paris and Milan this season. Though misguided, we applaud her for trying to follow the latest trends.

Read the full story

Army Recruiter's Homophobic-Racist Tirade

2007-03-26T15:27:00.000-04:00

When Corey Andrew posted his profile and resume on Careerbuilder.com seeking work as a copywriter, it somehow got the attention of Army recruiter, Marcia Ramode. Andrew, who is black and openly gay, had no interest in Ramode's inquiry, yet replied and asked if he was able to serve in the Army as a gay man.

Once the recruiter learned Andrew was gay, she replied, " IF YOU ARE GAY WE DON'T TAKE YOU. YOU ARE CONSIDERED UNQUALIFIED." Andrew continued to prod her on the Army's recruitement policy, and a violent three day hate mail exchange ensued starting with Ramode telling Andrew, "being gay is disgusting and immoral."

According to the article in the the Jersey Journal:

The insults were not only flying one way, as Andrew criticized her vocabulary and poor spelling and, after finding out she was a Native American, wrote:
"So take that to your next rain dance."

Here are some of the recruiter's SHOCKING homophobic and racist emails:

and...

It seems General Peter Pace's policy is fast at work.

This is absolutely DISGUSTING!

FIRE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read the Jersey Journal article here

Jake Likes The Slaughter??

2007-03-26T13:19:00.000-04:00

In February, Jake Gyllenhaal reportedly told GQ magazine, "I actually love to go to a farm and get fresh milk or watch a pig get slaughtered." Some fans and PETA are apparently in an uproar, but NOT us! Come on people...he's obviously kidding!

At least we're giving him the benefit of the doubt.

If this picture of Jake and his puggle isn't enough proof for you that he's an animal lover, we don't know what is.

Don't worry Jake, we won't "quit you."

Photo: imdb.com

Anna Nicole's Cause Of Death Revealed

2007-03-26T12:30:00.000-04:00

She died of an accidental overdose, Seminole police Chief Charlie Tiger said Monday.

There were no illegal drugs found in her system, but there was crazy amount of medicine! - 9 different prescription medications, including a sleep aid.

Although officials ruled out any criminal element, this "accident" still seems pretty fishy.

Drugs in Smith's system:
Toxic, lethal drug:
Chloral Hydrate

Therapeutic drugs:
Diphenhydramine (Benadryl, an antihistamine)
Clonazepam (Klonopin, anti-seizure drug, also used for panic attacks)
Diazepam (Valium, used to treat anxiety)
Nordiazepam (metabolite, produced in digestion of diazepam)
Temazepam (metabolite, also produced during digestion of diazepam)
Oxazepam (used to treat anxiety)
Lorazepam (Ativan, used to treat anxiety)

Other drugs:
Atropine (a drug used in resuscitation)
Topiramate (Topomax, used to treat seizures, migraines, and sometimes used as weight control drug)
Ciprofloxacin (Cipro, an antibiotic)
Acetaminophen (like Tylenol)

Photo: mcnbc.com

Planet Earth - Watch It!

2007-03-26T12:12:00.000-04:00

This 11 hour documentary premiered last night on the Discovery Channel, and it's incredible. You may be flipping through your channels and think that it's just another boring nature documentary, but you're wrong. "It feels more like an action movie," says Newsweek's Devin Gordon.

Over a period of five years, with high definition cameras, Executive Producer Alastair Fothergill's team traveled to the most remote areas of the world to capture animals and wildlife as it has never been seen before. "Every frame had to be a Rembrandt," says Fothergill. From a pride of lions in Africa who have taught themselves how to take down an elephant, to the rare snow leopard in the Himalayas, the footage is shocking in it's brutality, and equally breathtaking in it's beauty.

Watch it! Set your TiVo or DVR. It's not to be missed!

Photo: bbc.com

When Elephants Attack

2007-03-23T15:26:00.001-04:00

Jeff Corwin was attacked by an elephant at a wildlife rescue center in Cambodia while filming with Anderson Cooper. The animal grabbed Corwin's arm with it's mouth and tossed him in the water. Corwin said, "she could have done far worse than crushing a bit of ligament and muscle. Lucky for me, no broken bones, hopefully no connective tissue torn (will have to wait till I get home to find out about that)."

Glad you're ok Jeff.

Watch the video above.

I Thought We Ordered White Meat?

2007-03-22T15:18:00.000-04:00

A couple in New York were shocked when their baby came out darker than they expected. The pair is now suing their fertility clinic for medical malpractice claiming they injected her junk with some other brother’s spunk.

“While we love Baby Jessica as our own, we are reminded of this terrible mistake each and every time we look at her; it is simply impossible to ignore.”

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Disclaimer: The image above is a dramatization of the events. Those pictured are actors portraying the actual people mentioned in the case in order to protect their identity.

Click here for the article

Idol Manipulates With Crying Fan

2007-03-22T13:33:00.000-04:00

The tears were for real, but it was all planned by American Idol. Ashley Ferl, the "emotionally special" thirteen year old girl who balled during Tuesday night's show was a plant by the producers. Ferl wasn't even supposed to attend the actual taping, just the dress rehearsal. The producers saw her "cry so much at the rehearsal", they gave her an aisle seat right up front for the live taping. They knew she would have her tearful reaction, and it would make for better television.

Although they made it look like it was just for Sanjaya, this idol worshipper cried throughout the entire show. She claims the producers mentioned getting her tickets for the finale...no doubt up front and center.

I don't blame them for using Ferl. This season's been so lame, they have to do something to keep our interest.

Photo: msnbc.com

Too Sexy For His State

2007-03-22T12:10:00.000-04:00

It seems Justin’s too sexy for Tennessee. A Republican senator from the state legislature is blocking a resolution to honor Timberlake for his outstanding contribution to music and charitable service to his home state.

It seems Sen. Raymond Finney isn’t ‘Nsync with some of the explicit subject matter JT covers in his songs. He’s still upset about the former boy-bander exposing Janet Jackson’s breast during the Super Bowl and he certainly isn’t interested in having his body rocked or being a part of bringing sexy back.

Cry Me A River Finney! You desperately need to get LoveStoned!

Read the article

"Can't Hold Us Down!"

2007-03-22T11:13:00.000-04:00

Because we're too excited! Xtina has landed in the city and getting ready for her concert tomorrow night at Madison Square Garden!

AND WE'RE GOING!!!

We'll be "Dancing gettin' just a little naughtay!" We may even "Sweat until our clothes come off!"

Like Xtina says, "If you ain't dirrty, you ain't here to party!"

So "Desperate" For Publicity

2007-03-22T10:09:00.000-04:00

Two days after being kicked out of the Mondrian hotel in LA after "partying four days straight and being mean to the staff," Metcalfe has checked into rehab. We're so sick of this. Stop using rehab as a publicity stunt! No one cares anymore...and certainly not about Jesse. All these "stars" could privately go to rehab and never release a publicity statement. But they don't want it to be private...they want to use their "addictions" and their obligatory stay in rehab to further their career.

Unfortunately, rehab can't help Metcalfe's sinking career. There's a reason they made you take your shirt off in every episode of Desperate Housewives Jesse. It's not your acting chops that got you the job. If you want a future in Hollywood, stop focusing on your pecs, and work on your talent!

Photo: imdb.com

“It Don’t Matter If You’re Black or White”

2007-03-21T19:54:00.000-04:00

Seems like the King of Pop knew what he was talking about. A recent study showed that, just like Michael’s nose, the life expectancy gap between blacks and whites has significantly narrowed over the past decade and a half.

Unfortunately, Jackson is out of luck, the evidence was inconclusive regarding black men who have successfully transitioned into white women.

The actual survey made no mention of MJ and is positive news.
Click here to read the article

Hide and Seek

2007-03-21T17:04:00.001-04:00

Ready or not...here we come.

Where'd she go?

Ok. We give up. Mary-Kate? MARY-KATE???? MARY-KATE?!?!?!?

Photo: tmz.com

Murderer / Father Died In Prison

2007-03-21T16:22:00.000-04:00

Woody Harrelson's dad, and convicted murderer died in prison where he was serving two life sentences for the 1979 murder of a federal judge and a Texas businessman. Charles Harrelson has been serving out his sentences at the highest security federal prison, Supermax, after he tried to escape from an Atlanta federal prison in 1995. CRAZY!!

Woody's got nothin' on his dad, but violence may run in the family. He was recently accused of assaulting a photographer.

Photo: cnn.com

Lucky Mo, Broadway Bound

2007-03-21T12:43:00.000-04:00

On April 17th, Mo Rocca will be joining the cast of the Broadway Musical, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, playing Principal Douglas Panch. Best known for his work on the Daily Show, Rocca currently hosts his own Sirius Satellite Radio show. This will be his Broadway debut.

He is hilarious and he’ll probably be good. Rocca was the president of Hasty Pudding Theatricals back at his alma mater, a little place called Harvard. But, clearly that isn’t the reason he was cast.

Can you spell “STUNT CASTING?”

Is It Just Us?

2007-03-21T11:05:00.000-04:00

We thought Jim Carrey played Stanley Ipkiss in The Mask?

We were wrong. It was Spencer "Prick" from The Hills. He DISGUSTS us!

Caution: Britney Spears Out Of Rehab!

2007-03-21T09:56:00.000-04:00

After 28 days in rehab...cause that's standard?!?!...Britney Spears is back on the loose. Spears, 25, checked into Promises on Feb. 22 after she went mental and proceeded to shave her head, tattoo her wrist, and beat a car with an umbrella.

How terrifying are those pictures! She's so SCARY!!A typical stay at Promises is about 45 days. It looks like Spears got out a little early...maybe they ran out of soda.

Let's hope she's out for good, and can put her crazy to rest!

Woody's Scarlett Fever

2007-03-20T17:01:00.000-04:00

Scarlett Johansson has been linked romantically to Jared Leto, Josh Hartnett, Justin Timberlake, and now it seems Woody Allen has won her heart. She is currently in pre-production for her third movie with Allen, "Woody Allen Spanish Project." In the April issue of Vogue, Johannson says of her director, "I'd sew the hems of his pants if he asked me to." Allen describes Johannson as "criminally sexy."

She's been the director's muse of late, but hopefully she won't get the wrong impression. She does know he only really thinks you're sexy if you're his adopted daughter, right? Don't you worry Soon-Yi! Scarlett's got nothin' on you!!

If Looks Could Kill

2007-03-20T14:05:00.000-04:00

Angelina Jolie’s next film will have her in familiar territory. She will play a master assassin in the action flick, Wanted. Her apprentice? James McAvoy, hot off the critical success of The Last King of Scotland, will play Jolie’s pupil.

Ironically, her other half, Brad Pitt, will next be seen in The Assassination of Jesse James.

Angie and Brad are badasses! What else is there left to say?